To adopt or not to adopt? ..... NOT a question

Shortly after all the rush of emotions as we possibly got lined up to be adoptive parents two years ago and then not, Logan lost his job. We struggled through the year as Logan tried to find his place in the working field. Honestly, I don't know how we survived as I was not making enough money to pay all our bills, but we somehow survived through it all and Logan finally got a great job last December. Now that we feel like we are more financially able to pay for an adoption and can afford the things needed to support a child we decided we would pick back up on and finish our adoption paperwork once and for all. We set up an appointment with LDS Family Services and were anxiously awaiting that appointment.

We realized that, until we have children, there are three days we are going to have to "conveniently" miss church - Mother's Day, Father's Day and the day the Primary children do their Sacrament program. Mother's Day started out like any normal Sunday. I was excited to go to church, I had a new way cute dress I was planning on showing off and then it hit me about half way through taking the Sacrament....IT'S MOTHER'S DAY! I tried to keep my cool as I listened to the speakers talking about their mothers. I held back the tears when the Primary children sang. It is a rough feeling not knowing if I will get to be a mother in this lifetime (I pray and hope that I will...but you just don't really know) and I thought I did really good keeping it all in... until the Bishop got up to speak. I cried through his whole talk. It was a great talk, don't get me wrong, just made me very emotional. At some point in his talk (sorry that I don't remember Bishop Towers but that is when I lost it) he mentioned to not forget about the women who have not had a chance to have children of their own and started mentioning amazing women in our ward and how they "mother" in their own way. I don't know if he didn't mention my name because I don't do anything spectacular or because he saw me bawling in the corner, but I am kind of glad he didn't. I tried to hold back the tears and look up as often as I could to show that I was listening to his talk, though clearly I wasn't really processing it, and noticed my oldest brother sitting on the stand to the right of the Bishop with tears in his eyes looking my way. I lost it again, and am actually trying to hold back the tears now as I write the flow of emotions I had that day. I turned and noticed that even Logan was crying. After Sacrament meeting we quietly slipped out the back and spent the rest of "church" at home with each other.

Fast forward to last Wednesday. We met with our caseworker at LDS Family Services. Since it has been so long since we started our paperwork we have to start everything over from scratch. We sat in the office and completed as much as we could right there. Statistics are not in the favor of adoption but we were presented with options and are still pushing forward with everyhing. I have faith that no matter what, we will do what we are suppose to do and we will either be blessed with a child one way or another, or will be comforted in whatever reason it is that we will not have children. I believe that Heavenly Father has given this trial to us for a reason and have faith in that reason, no matter how emotionally draining it is.

Life

I have started a new weight loss program that is teaching me how to eat correctly (I DON'T eat salad, most vegetables, or fruit so I have a rough time getting the necessary vitamins and nutrients my body needs), and focus on myself. That, surprisingly, has been A LOT harder than I thought it would be. There are motivational talks included with the weight loss program and one of them struck me pretty hard. It gave the example of when you are on an airplane the stewardess explains that in case of an emergency oxygen masks will be released from the overhead compartment and that you are to put the mask on yourself FIRST, and then help others around you. We have all heard that, even if you haven't flown on an airplane. It goes on to say that if we try to put the oxygen mask on our children or neighbor before putting it on ourselves we might pass out due to altitude, or other circumstances, before having the chance to help anyone else. Now turn that example around and apply it to your life. If you always go around saying you are "OKAY" and continue to serve others and be busy-busy-busy (yes, I created my own word there), everyone else around you will be "okay" and you will just end up being burnt out. 

I always wanted to be a mother. When I was a young girl, I didn't want to waste my time in college because all I wanted to do was be a Mom. Now here I am, 30 years old...childless and unable to have children, working at a dead end job that does nothing but make me feel useless and does not allow me to use my full potential. You would think that since I don't have any children I would have TONS of time for ME....not so much. Working full time, family, visiting teaching, friends, cleaning, cooking, serving, crafting, church, YW Camp, QUEST, and so on... its all quite exhausting!

I love doing service for others, and no matter what I have going on, I push it all aside to help. I feel selfish if I am not doing something for others which puts me in a predicament concerning the last few sentences of the first paragraph. Take time out for me and feel selfish or end up being burnt out. Maybe some of my readers have some words of wisdom they can share as to how the make it all work. Either that or unknowingly I am going to start a "selfish" movement that helps women take better care of themselves (all while still allowing them to serve others, of course).

After explaining my situation to a concerned family member, I was asked if I should ask someone to take my responsibilities of QUEST because I should take time out for myself. (For those of you who don't know, QUEST is a youth "camp" where youth from our area and surrounding cities/towns will get together for a week of spiritual fulfillment and will be re-enacting the stories in the Book of Mormon. It is a quest for the youth to become more like Jesus Christ. Learn more about the Book of Mormon here.) I immediately told her no because the church and my service in the church is keeping me grounded. I am so excited for QUEST and being able to see the youth participate, and participate myself in this type of spiritual activity is what I want and need.

 I love the gospel of Jesus Christ and my faith in Jesus Christ has given me the strength to hang on during this bumpy ride of life.

So all you wise friends who are reading this, how do you do it? How do you have lives, children, jobs, errands, chores, provide service, do activities and still keep yourself sane, mentally and physically grounded?

Updates to come

I see that I have been having some people "check up on me" so it was a gentle reminder that I need to do some updating. Keep checking back.... Updates to come!

OH NO....It's the big 30!!!

It is that time of year. We have a whole month to remember, reflect and celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, spend time with family and friends, and do service for others. It is also that dreaded time of year for me. It's time for another birthday.

I am torn this year, more than others. I am happy to have a day to celebrate ME, but at the same time, I am feeling a little down and out about it. Three years ago Logan got a very pricey speeding ticket on my birthday and last year he was laid off. *Knock on wood, fingers, toes, arms AND legs crossed, and praying that neither happen this year.* And then I remember that when I was younger I always had a goal to be a stay at home mom with at least two or more children by the time I was 30. I could picture it so clearly in my head. And here I am, living the clouded picture of my day to day life, ready to turn 30 years old, and it is nothing like I had imagined it would be. Then come rushing back the flood of feelings and emotions I have been feeling over the past few years and I just get even more down and out.

I would love to have a get together or a huge party with friends and family. But my birthday is so close to Christmas, and most people are out of town. I would hate to ask those friends that are in town to take time away from their family and Christmas festivities. What to do, what to do?!?!

Screw it! Either way, I am going to CELEBRATE and I would love to celebrate it in style. (BTW - I love LOVE LOVE this glass! I am partial to anything Zebra print! It is a fruit punch/water glass, right!) So who is going to join me?!?

If anything, I will just become one of those women that turns 27 years old eight consecutive years in a row! Whatever your plans this Christmas season, I hope everyone has a very safe and Merry Christmas. And always remember the true meaning of Christmas!

Per the request of Chelsey, Christmas decoration pictures will be posted soon. And there will be another post someday soon about a new job!

Super Cute

So, I am usually not one to do these kind of posts but these are SUPER CUTE and I have to share. The ladies at http://thewoodco.blogspot.com/ are doing a give away. Look through their pictures, they have such cute things and at a great price.

Come on....how can you not love this:

Or this:
Or these:

(Photos and designs belong to The Wood Connection, please do not steal them!)

So go to their site and check out there stuff (they have a store in UT for all you lucky ladies out west)! And yes, they have things other than Christmas...I am just getting in the Christmas mood a little early!

Pet peeves...

I feel like I am driving all the time. Drive to work, drive to church, drive to meetings, drive to the store... It's a never ending battle that I admit, I used to enjoy. That was before I started driving behind stupid people. I use to enjoy my relaxing commute to and from work, but now I feel like I look like this more often then not: I have been thinking about writing this post for quite sometime, but I keep adding to the list of my driving pet peeves...and I don't ever think that list will be complete. I honestly think that the state needs to enforce people to take the driving test every time a license is to be renewed. After seeing how people drive I can imagine how many people wouldn't be on the road.... Ah, what a great thought! I have composed a list below of a few important things everyone should know before driving...

1) Roundabouts: Yield and enter the roundabout when there is a space for your vehicle and do not stop until after you have exited. This means that you are not to enter the roundabout and stop at every street to let out everyone else waiting for a space for their car. There are people behind you trying to get home, or to work, or to get their screaming child to the doctor, etc.2) 4 way stop: Everyone must come to a complete stop when at this sign. Whomever was the first to the sign proceeds through the intersection first. If you and someone else got there at the same time, you yield to the person on your right. If there is someone on your left and no one on your right....that means YOU GO FIRST. Don't wave the person to your left and tell them to go first. You are messing up everyone and making them forget how to use a 4 way stop. Also, the person with the largest or most expensive car DOES NOT GO FIRST, unless they were at the intersection first. 4 way stops aren't that confusing people...
3) Lane Ends - Merge: This means your lane is ending and you need to merge into the other lane NOW. This does not mean speed up as fast as you can and try to squeeze your SUV into a spot intended for something the size of a 4 wheeler, then curse at someone for not letting you in and almost forcing you to hit their car.
4) Cell Phones: I am one of those that is big about not using your cell phone while driving. I have a bluetooth vehicle that allows me to talk on my phone without having to touch my phone. I have seen way too many people driving along, swerving from lane to lane because they think it is more important to read the latest FB update or email than save the lives of them, their passengers, and the people around them (my husband and father are two people on the road that cant wait until they stop or get home to read the email they just received). I fully believe that someone needs to come out with a vehicle that disables all functions of a phone, other than the phone feature itself, while a vehicle is in drive. 5) Interstate: I think this one is my biggest issue since I am on the interstate at least 2 times a day. When you are merging onto the interstate, you are to be going the speed limit of the interstate or close to it. FYI - For anyone who didn't know, the speed limit on I-75 throughout the Gainesville area is 70mph (you have been informed). This means everyone needs to be going at least 65mph by the time they hit the interstate. This will help all the people behind you as well as the people currently driving on the interstate to not have to stop or swerve to ensure they do not hit you. I like to think of the on ramp to the interstate in a few different ways.
a) A airport tarmac - The state provides you with ample space to increase your speed to "take off" on the interstate. There is no need to be going 40mph after almost a mile of ramp space.
b) The drive-in scene from Back to the Future 3 - Doc: "All you have to do is drive the time vehicle directly towards that screen, accelerating at 88mph."
Marty: "Wait a minute Doc! If I drive straight towards that screen I am going to crash into those Indians."
Doc: "Marty, you aren't thinking fourth dimensionally. You will instantly be transported to 1885 and those Indians won't even be there."
Marty: "Right....!"
If people would just drive towards the screen (of cars on the interstate), accelerating toward 70mph (since 88mph is breaking the law), they will be transported (able to merge) right in line with the Indians (vehicles) and it won't even be a problem.
Problem solved!!!!

Oh, if only there were no stupid drivers!

But then again, if everyone drove perfectly we wouldn't have people like this to laugh at....

Crazy couponing...

I am super excited so I will apologize in advance if this post is boring to you!

I have heard about these women who go into stores with tons of coupons and a strategy and walk out paying very little for a lot of groceries. I have looked for coupons and use them occassionally to save a couple bucks here or there but I never realized what great deals are out there to be had. After watching one episode of Extreme Couponing I was hooked. I recorded 5 episodes, sat my husband down, watched them together and said I wanted to be like them (though sometimes they are a bit too extreme). Soon after I was getting a tutorial and walk thru to learn all about "couponing" from my awesome friend and visiting teacher, Stacy. I still didn't know if I could do it...but I was willing to try.

My first find - Pop Tarts. To me they are okay but my husband likes them, and they are convenient for him to grab on his way out the door for work. He really isn't a breakfast fan but will eat Pop Tarts so I will take what I can get. I got boxes of Pop Tarts for $0.96 a box, normally $2.59 a box. I got a good deal and was ready for more.

I started looking for deals and coupons and came across a steal of a deal. Mueller's pasta on sale at Publix, Buy One, Get One Free. Two boxes normally cost $1.47 each just became $0.73 each. Then I found a coupon for $0.55 off 1 box. The catch...you have to register and email address on Mueller's website to get two coupons. I registered my normal email and got two coupons and headed to the nearest Publix. Out the door I got two boxes of pasta for $0.37...that is $0.185 per box!!! I paid with the change in my wallet. WOW! At this point I was excited. We don't really need any more pasta but hello... it has a two year shelf life. Food storage here we come.

I have tons of email addresses with misc. business ventures I have tried, old email addresses I didn't think worked any more, work email, personal email, and my husbands multiple email addresses. I was able to get 30 more coupons (yes that is 16 email addresses between me and my husband...don't judge). I went to work today with the intention of running to Publix on my lunch to get the deal of my life (or at least the day, since now I know what I am doing... I better get more deals like this). I was excited and shared the deal with my co-workers. One even asked if I would show him the "tricks of the trade" so he can teach his wife how to save money! At this point I was stoked and ready to go. But the closer it got to my lunch break...the more nervous I got. I was sure the store was going to limit the amount of coupons I used, or all my coupons were going to crash the computer and I would have a little old man standing in line behind me, very upset that he has to wait for me.

Finally, feeling very anxious/nervous/excited, I headed to the store. I loaded up my cart with 30 boxes of various pasta and headed to the front lanes. When the cashier saw my stack of coupons she sighed. OH NO! I upset someone already...I don't like that feeling. After confirming with her that I had 30 coupons on 30 items she seemed happier and the transaction went smoothly, for the most part. She somehow managed to not scan a box of spaghetti which threw off the whole transaction. After 5 minutes of counting boxes, looking at the receipt, counting the amount of coupons scanned, the manager coming over to manually enter $1.65 worth of coupons because it just wasnt working, and apologizing profusely to the old man standing in line behind me (see, I knew that was going to happen), we got it taken care of and I was out the door with my prize!

32 boxes of pasta: Retail cost = $47.04.

Total out of pocket cost = $5.92

4 Angel Hair (2 whole grain), 4 Spaghetti (2 whole grain), 4 Penne (1 whole grain), 3 Elbow Macaroni, 3 Sea Shells, 3 Corkscrews, 3 Ziti, 2 Linguine, 2 Fettuccine, and 1 Tri Color Rotini.

I feel like I have accomplished some great feat. Though I also feel like I stole from the store...and I know I didn't, the deal is just unbelieveable!!! I am super excited about this deal and I am even more excited about my next great steal of a deal. Now... where do I put 32 boxes of pasta?!?!?

Family Pictures

We are lucky enough to have a very talented photographer (Dawn Sims from Yellow Dandelion Photography) in our ward. The Anderson clan has attempted to gather all 22 of us for a family picture and use her as the photographer but plans never seem to work out as well as we would hope. This week, Dawn and her cute little family are moving to Iowa. They will be missed! Anyways, Dawn contacted me a few weeks back, asking if I could make her some vinyl quotes for the walls in her new home. In exchange she would take some family pictures for us. The last family photo we had taken of us was over three years ago for Logan's grandmother. I am typically one that stays behind the camera because I feel camera's add 50lbs, not just 10lbs (which isn't true, I just don't like seeing myself). Reluctantly I said yes, and I even thought of canceling more than once but I went through with it. The pictures turned out way cute (minus the fact that it was hot, right after a rainstorm, super humid, and the mosquitos were eating me alive). This one is my favorite but below is a small slideshow of some of the photos (there is still some on Dawn's memory card that she forgot to send and are now on their way to Iowa...I will get them soon).

Yay!

I should be getting the books I previously blogged about in the mail today. I am so super excited to see the end results!!! I wish it was 5 o'clock already and I wish I could run home and check the mail. I am trying to be patient but it isn't working. On top of the three books I showed earlier I also made the following book:



I have a generic ABC 123 book I made (the first book I made from scratch, without a template) but when I saw a template for a Gospel ABC book I instantly knew that my future child(ren) needed one. Well, as most of you know by now, the child(ren) part isn't happening or hasn't happened yet, so I kept waiting to make this book. Then I heard that Heritage Makers was no longer making their board books and I still felt like my future child(ren) needed to have one. What a great cute way to start teaching them the gospel at a young age. So, I unpersonalized the book, changed from pictures of future children to pictures of the Savior, removed the names I have picked out for my future children that I put in the book (just hoping and dreaming), and made it as generic as possible so it could be enjoyed by either a boy or girl, young or old, etc. It turned out so well that I have had three other people ask for a copy of the book customized with their family pictures, etc.

Per the USPS website, my packages are out for delivery. So, I am trying to patiently wait for the end of the work day! ...it isn't working very well!

Scrapbooking galore

Three years ago this July, Logan and I went on an amazing trip through Yellowstone and ever since we got back I have been trying and trying to make a scrapbook. I printed pictures, papers, stickers, and tried to lay them all out to make a scrapbook. Finally four months ago I gave up on the idea of ever finishing that scrapbook (which only had maybe three completed pages) and started a scrapbook using Heritage Makers. I finished the book in April and you can see a preview here:

http://www.heritagemakers.com/projectBrowserStandAlone.cfm?projectID=1380383&productId=11&sponsorID=346919



My neice and nephew were both baptized over the past few months (one in March and the other May) and I took it upon myself to make books for them as their baptism gift from me. I realized it was a lot harder than I thought it would be trying to gather information from family members, recording and transcribing the talks given during their baptism, writing down everyone that attended, and taking lots and lots of pictures! I have finally finished both the books and I cannot wait to see the look on my neice and nephew's faces when they get their book.

http://www.heritagemakers.com/projectBrowserStandAlone.cfm?projectID=1795874&productId=5&sponsorID=346919



http://www.heritagemakers.com/projectBrowserStandAlone.cfm?projectID=1797942&productId=5&sponsorID=346919

Backyard Makeover

I have always wanted a nice flower garden with a swing, or hammock, or some type of chairs to make a relaxing retreat in my backyard. I dream of sitting outside reading books, feeling the breeze and sun on my face while the children play in the yard. As of right now I cannot have the children part (except for the dogs and they LOVE the yard) but since we now live in a house, I decided I was ready to start working toward that dream.

This is what our yard looked like shortly after we moved in. It is winter so pardon the dead grass. And the black thing you see is a fire pit.

I started by designing and deciding on where to put the flower beds.

Then I removed all the grass from those areas.Next came the flowers and mulch.

I am lucky enough to work at a construction office and have a large selection of rocks on property. I picked out a few and had someone load them into a truck for me. I think they look pretty good!

There are still some plants that need to be placed, so excuse the containers in the pictures, but you get the general idea. I think it makes a huge difference and didn't take that much work. We have enjoyed relaxing in the yard while the boys play. And we are excited about, and look forward to having barbeques with friends and family, and spending time in our beautiful backyard.

Kelsey's Kreations

I have recently become an open book of creativity and have created more things. With a mostly failed attempt in the hooter hider business I can't believe I am actually looking into selling something else. That would just be stupid, right?

Since I have become so into reading recently with things at work slowing down, allowing me to more time to read (and my husband stealing my cheap bookmark because he didn't have one), I decided I would make my own bookmark, or what I like to call book thong!!! And it turned out so cute I made myself a second one. I posted pictures on facebook of my book thongs and instantly got someone who was interested in purchasing two, YAHOO!!! Then a week later, five more sold. I also gave some to my family members hoping they would pass the word along and enjoy them at the same time. So I am selling them already, but I am so hesitant to go any further and get excited about selling them just to have the whole thing flop in a month. For those of you who don't know my husband lost his job in January. We have been trying to get by on my salary, which isn't enough to pay the bills but we have managed to get by. He finally got a job but it is only part time on weekends and still not enough money. Selling these could help with the income, but supplies cost so I don't want to get in to it and have stock sitting in my closet (I still have hooter hiders sitting in my closet waiting to be purchased) and lose that money. So I am asking my loyal followers (all 2 of you) your opinion. I thought about coming up with something about "Kelsey's Kreations" or "Kelsey's Krafty Kreations" and selling Book Thongs and Hooter Hiders, and anything else I come up with in the next little bit but I am seriously torn. So... sell or hobby? Try to promote, push the products, post, website, sell, etc., or just do it because I like them, if they sell they sell. What do you think?

Decorated???

I had a request to put up some pictures of the house decorated so here they are. Sorry for the mess, I took the pictures before making sure everything was cleaned and put away....but you get the idea!

Living room...
View from the kitchen.

Kitchen...

Office...
These are the bookshelves Logan made.
They are not finished being decorated but you get the idea.

Master Suite...

(Calling it a "suite" makes me feel super special!)

(The boys really wanted to be in the pictures!)

Guest bath...

Guest Room...

This is my work in progress room. Chelsey, the home owner, made it into a nursery before they moved and I decided it would be our nursery when we one day get a baby. I already have my nursery stuff picked out and will be a jungle theme (thus the stuffed animals). I am trying to incorporate jungle into an adult guest room so that it can easily be changed to a nursery in case we don't have a lot of notice about an adoptive baby, but I am struggling a bit on it. So, this is just thrown together for now.


There is your sneak peak into our new place. If you would like to see more, come on over!!! We LOVE having guests and visitors!

Long over due

Many people have wanted to ask but have yet to do so, except for the occasional few. I guess this post is at least a month over due. I have kept everyone waiting long enough. We did not get the baby as the mother decided to keep him, which is wonderful and great that she chose to do so. We are now trying to finish our home study and get all of our paperwork completed and then we wait for our special little one.

In the mean time, while waiting to be chosen to raise a beautiful baby I have managed to keep myself fairly busy. With work, school and a busy church calling I typically stay pretty busy but I decided to take on more, not necessarily all my choice though. Early to mid November we were presented an opportunity to help out some friends, and help ourselves at the same time, by renting their home that they have been unable to sell. So within a matter of a few days, we packed and moved into OUR FIRST HOME. I know, technically it is not "our home" but I can still dream.



I have been busy unpacking and decorating, which everyone knows I love to do (the decorating part, not the unpacking part). Logan has decided that his new favorite store is Lowe's, sorry Best Buy. He has purchsed new tools and made a workbench for the garage. Then he made me a new bookshelf for our office. I am telling you, this man has talent, and I am not saying that just because he is my husband...although it helps! ;-) I like my bookshelf so much Logan is letting me help him make a second one to go next to it.

The second one is getting stained tonight so I should have up pictures of the completed, decorated and in use bookshelves very soon!

I apologize for keeping the adoption news a suspense. Life is busy and hectic but that is one thing I will not keep to myself. When we get a baby, I will shout it to the world!!!